Thursday, December 30, 2010

Don't Quit On Me...

Welp, I'm officially the worst blog-writer ever. It's been how long since my last post? Ah, well, can't be helped. The chances that this is actually being read are pretty slim anyways :p


So we went to Georgia to visit my grandparents the day after Christmas. That makes me realize I didn't write a blog about Christmas. I feel bad, I mean it was the celebration of my Savior's birth. The beginning of His great sacrifice for us. I should have focused on it more than I did. Christmas just didn't feel...Christmas-ey this year. I don't know what was different, maybe because my other set of grandparents (the ones from Texas) weren't there this year. Maybe I'm just more focused on my self and less-focused on those around me, or the joy of the season, than I'd like to think. Regardless, I feel like I just woke up one day and it was Christmas morning. Like despite all the cookie-baking, cleaning, and decorating we did, it wasn't that big day of celebration. The season didn't seem as joyous as it should have. Part of it may be that the Christmas tree was up the whole time I was at the house, so there wasn't a transformation from pre-Christmas to Christmas decorations. Maybe I was too focused on how much I miss Denver and the friends I have there. Maybe I'm just not full of the joy I should be full of. I think that could be part of it. 


I've felt kinda...dull, blah, deadish, these past weeks. I'm striving, and praying, so much to be able to find joy in Jesus, no matter the circumstances, but it's hard! I haven't been depressed or sad or missing school so much it hurts. I've been generally happy and content with my lot in life. But I've still felt very very blah. Like a big white blob of something dolloped on your plate in the cafeteria. It's cold and boring and not especially appetizing. Not that I'm food or anything...


I'm extremely excited to for returning to Denver, though. I leave around 6AM on Friday! This means I only have one day to prepare...cleaning, packing, washing clothes, running errands, painting, and a lot more packing and running around. It's a bit hectic. I'm mildly stressed. Plus hoping to see a few more people I won't be able to see until summer. We'll see how it goes! I'm anticipating very little sleep over the next few days. That's okay, the vampire look is in, right? Maybe more of a zombie...but those are cool too, right? Either way, I'm thrilled. I'm hoping that once I'm around friends and having more fun, and seeing the absolutely gorgeous Colorado mountains again, I'll be more interesting. Maybe I'm so boring because I AM bored, there isn't much to do here. I've been painting a lot. Which has been great. But there isn't much variety. Who knows, maybe I'm just a boring person and just realizing it! Maybe I've just been asleep for awhile and need to wake up. So I'm praying and thinking and packing and painting and dashing madly about in an attempt to get everything into one or two suitcases. We'll see how it goes. Peace. (:

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