Retrospeculation

If that's a real word, I will be sincerely disappointed.

"Good morning," I cheerfully greeted someone as I jogged past. "It is a good morning," the elderly gentleman replied with a smile. And it was, it really was. Brilliant blue sky, finally cleared of the bizarre Arizona snow that froze our fingers for the first few days we were here, and the red rocks and mountain-esque structures before me. Three yellow hot air balloons floated in the early morning sky. Quite random, but non the less welcome as I jogged up and down the hilly street.

It was a good morning. Crisp, clean, cool, and calm (can you tell I'm a huge fan of alliteration yet?)

Thinking back on yesterday and my minor tragedy, it's still okay, and it's still a good day, and yesterday was still a great day. The first half of it did admittedly suck, but it was still okay.

Thinking about it, I should be freaking out. If I was being "normal Katy," I would be freaking out. But "normal Katy" has been changing in the past few months. Usually, midterms and finals are the utter bane of my existence. There's just so much to do, and so much pressure to get really good grades on the tests so I maintain a really good GPA, keep my scholarships, and continue attending DU. My mind races down this path of "what if's" and soon I've failed out of school and am living in a cardboard box under a bridge, or worse...my parent's basement. But this past round of (brutal) finals, I was fine. I didn't freak out at all, except maybe for a few minutes once or twice, but not my normal two weeks of major stress and utter misery. And yes, I may be slightly exaggerating at the moment. Regardless, in the past few months I began praying for peace, and I was granted it.

I feel the same way about my camera. I should be freaking out. I may not be able tot afford to fix it, I've possibly lost one of my primary artistic expressions, as well as a form of income through  my photography for the Clarion. But I know it's gonna be okay. I feel like I have this irrational sense of calm and peace, that the "rational" thing to do would be to be super upset about this, but I'm not. I know, really really know, everything will be okay. God will provide, in whatever way He sees best, and that way will be the best way. It's really great, this trusting fully in God thing. Giving Him everything and trusting Him 100% with my life. He will provide, and I'm super excited to see how He does it!