“I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.”
American Beauty is one of my favorite films. It's a little strange, but it has some of the most profound quotes. They're all saved to my computer and taped to my walls at home.
“It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.”
Yesterday morning I felt just that, like my heart was just going to cave in, there was so much beauty. I slept in late and went for a run around 11:30. Thinking the air would be frigid, I bundled up in a big sweatshirt, sweatpants and gloves. The weather, though chilly, was perfect for a jog. Cool air blew against my face, fresh and alive. Everything was sharp and clear. There wasn't any specific flower or leaf or tree that caught my attention as being exceptionally comely, but the whole picture was so almost painfully beautiful. I couldn't help but smile, and my heart sang for joy.
The other day, maybe Wednesday or Thursday, the sky was spitting out little bits of snow. It was freezing. Dew had frozen to the grass, frosting it like pancakes sprinkled in powdered sugar. All the leaves on the ground had little drops of dew frozen to them. Perfect beads of ice, like resting pearls.
There's so much beauty in the world, if we only keep our eyes open and see. We look every day. Our eyes function, but sometimes we don't really see. Jiddu Krishnamuri said, "If your eyes are blinded by your worries, you cannot see the beauty of the sunset."
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