Many of the posts were negative, glad that he was getting "what he deserved," that someone who had said "God hates" to almost every people group would now experience God's hatred. Many posts wished him the opposite of resting in peace, and "thank goodness" this "scumbag" was off the earth.
I have to be completely honest, my very first reaction to seeing that he was dying was "oh good. Oh good, maybe now we can be free of this hatred."
I was promptly convicted.
I know it's not right to wish death on anyone, and a moment of reflection reminded me of that. Yet hatred in response to his hatred was my impulse reaction.
"I do not feel any pity for Gollum," said Frodo.
"You have not seen him," Gandalf broke in.
"No, and I don't want to," said Frodo. "I can't understand you. Do you mean to say that you, and the Elves, have let him live on after all those horrible deeds? Now at any rate he is as bad as an Orc, and just an enemy. He deserves death."
"No, and I don't want to," said Frodo. "I can't understand you. Do you mean to say that you, and the Elves, have let him live on after all those horrible deeds? Now at any rate he is as bad as an Orc, and just an enemy. He deserves death."
"Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends."
How easy we are to deal out death in judgement. Yet we have not seen the people we judge, truly seen them. We have seen some part of them, felt their actions against us, heard their words and wept, experienced pain and suffering perhaps, but we have not seen them, have not seen why they act the way they act, why they hate the way they hate.
And so, after praying about my own brokenness that wished death on another human being, I prayed for Fred Phelps as well. He passed away this morning, and I do not know what his last words or thoughts were, but I know what I hoped and prayed for.
Instead of hating Fred Phelps, I honestly now feel, or felt, heartbroken for him. He was a man who dedicated his entire life to a wrong reading of the Bible, to a misinterpretation of what Jesus did for us. He was a man who had no understanding of grace, or Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. He had no experience of the freeing love of Jesus. And that is tragic.
I imagine all those years he spent reading the Bible and instead of hearing God's words, he heard Satan's twisted version of the Bible's truth.
If we hate him, if we are glad for his death and pray for God's vengeance upon him, hope he's "burning in Hell" (how misleading that phrase is in and of itself is an entirely different conversation. See Tim Keller's thoughts here), then we are acting no better than Fred Phelps. We are just as hateful.
If we don't believe that God's grace covers Fred Phelps, that God looked down on him and was saddened by how lost Fred Phelps was, then we have succumbed to Satan's twisted truth just as much as the other man. If God's grace doesn't extend to every person on this earth, no matter what they have said, thought, or done, then how can that grace cover me? Cover you? What makes me deserve it more? What makes you deserve grace more than Fred Phelps?
That's the beauty of grace. It is free! It is not something you or I or anyone else can ever earn. It is not something we can ever deserve. Unconditional love without price is not something that logically makes sense. We live in a world that earns everything it gets. It is incomprehensible to have a love that is simply because. Yet that is the love of Jesus, that is the grace of God.
I truly, truly hope that before he died, Fred Phelps experienced the grace of God. That he finally saw the err in his ways, felt God's deep love, and realized it is by grace that we are saved.
And if I don't believe that Fred Phelps is loved by God, then how can I believe God loves me? I cannot be the first to cast a stone, because I am not without guilt and sin.
"He who is without sin can cast the first stone."
Jesus knelt down and traced the dust with his finger once more. After a moment he looked up, looking deep into the eyes of the woman before him. Trembling with fear, she tried desperately to shift around and cover her naked body. She tried to speak, but no words came.
"Are they gone?" he asked.
She barely managed to nod.
"Did not one of them condemn you?" he asked her.
"No, not one." her voice still trembled. She knew that while none of the men had been able to cast a stone, for they were not blameless, before her stood one who was without sin. Before her stood Jesus, the only one who could justly cast a stone.
"Then neither do I," he responded with love. **
Jesus wouldn't cast a stone. Who am I to think I can? God loved Fred Phelps. I don't know what his experience was when he died and met his maker, but I do know God loves him, and so must I. And his family that remains behind, I must love them too.
Grace I have freely received, and grace I must freely give.
**my summary of John 8:1-11
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