I journaled this a few weeks ago, rediscovered it as I was flipping through old pages. Thought I'd share...
"I've been realizing a lot about me recently. I've been feeling so aware of my inadequacy in the bad, self-centered way.
And God showed me that I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of letting go, of not looking at the waves and just clinging to His hand. Like I think so poorly of myself that I don't think He'd want to hold me if I actually fully let go. But then I know in my head He loves me so much, I so deeply believe in His unconditional love...but I'm still afraid.
Like if I stop looking at the waves and reach out to grab His hand, I'm so broken and heavy I'd pull us both down. Which is so silly and I know it's not true...but I'm still afraid.
I'm so afraid of not being enough I can't accept that I am enough.
I want that gone. I want to accept, know and fully believe in my heart that I am enough, not for what I have done, but because of who He is.
I will sink no more.
My prayer is for God to reveal to me who I am in Him. Loved, redeemed, forgiven, beloved, His."
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