A Humble Road

I've found myself especially enjoying exploring words recently. Humility is the one on my mind at the moment. 

hu·mil·i·ty

a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness.

synonyms: modesty, humbleness, meekness, diffidence, unassertiveness;

lack of pride, lack of vanity;

servility, submissiveness

 

But we'll get back to that...

 

A few weeks ago I watched The Passion of Christ for the first time. 

 

On a short (but probably at least mildly related) tangent, I told myself I would never watch this movie. I decided I couldn't handle the violence, and was pretty sure I didn't need to see what Christ went through on that intense and bloody of a level, I had read my Bible, I knew what He went through. Wrong. I was so wrong. Honestly I got to a point where I just felt so convicted that I needed to see this movie, and I couldn't reason my way out of it any longer. It was so prideful of me to think I knew, to not need to be reminded on a constant basis in numerous manners that I am broken, messy, desperately in need of grace and love, and that I've done nothing and can do nothing to earn redemption. Suffice to say, in conclusion to my tangent, I'm glad I watched the film. It rocked my world and taught me. 

I didn't learn it all right away, however. I needed a little reflection time, and gentle prodding from the Spirit. 

A few things stood out to me as I watched The Passion. The film documents the last hours of Jesus' life, from His betrayal and arrest in the Garden of Gethsemane to His resurrection three days later, with a few flashbacks to His childhood and time of ministry thrown in. 

From the get-go, Jesus is being beaten, harassed, spit upon, judged, insulted, and betrayed. He is being treated as less than human, yet just as the prophet Isaiah prophesied, "He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth."

 

I was struck by Christ's incredible humility throughout the film. I couldn't quite put my finger on precisely what made Him humble, but the humility shone from the character's portrayal of Jesus. Humility is something often difficult to pin down and understand, and thus a concept difficult to portray. But it was there, so clearly radiating from Jesus. He didn't just do something with humility, He was humble, everything about Him, His actions and His words. 

Another thing about Jesus in the film that stuck out to me was how Jesus didn't defend Himself. He was given so many chances to speak up against the lies spewed about Him. He had numerous opportunities to set the records straight, to explain who He really was, to get out of the situation, but He didn't. He didn't defend Himself, He allowed the Pharisees and Sadducee and people of the community to walk all over Him, to whip Him almost to death, to hurl insults, to kill Him. 

Now you might have put these two things together already, realized the connection between my perception of Christ's humility and His lack of defensiveness. I, however, can be on the slower side at times and failed to recognize the connection. 

Then I went running. I talk with God a lot when I run, and during this particular run I had quite a great deal on my mind. One of these was humility, and a few ways I had recently been challenged to respond with humility rather than defensiveness. 

When confronted, rather than explaining my side of the story or putting forth my point of view, the humble response would simply be to say, "I'm sorry," if that was the proper response, or simply listen and not fight back. 

See my desire to fight back, to defend myself, is rooted in pride. I want people to know my side of the story so that I look better, so I am heard. Maybe the stories being told are lies, or not complete truths, maybe it does feel unjust to not have my perspective out there, to hear me out. But it's prideful to be so defensive. Because why does it matter that people know the best about me? Why does that matter so much? Because I care far too much what others think of me, and if I allow that to rule me, then I am living in a pool of my own pride, into which I will sink deeper and deeper until it swallows me whole. 

The only hope is humility. In humility I can choose to not defend myself, because it doesn't matter what others think or say or do, what matters is that I am a child of the One True King. What matters is that I serve Him. What matters is that I am so confident and sure in Christ's love that what others think ceases to matter. 

As I ran and thought and prayed God helped me see, often humility is taking the road less traveled, the road of being trampled on, the road of not defending yourself, the road of letting people attack and not attacking back, sometimes not even putting up a wall or defensive shield. 

It's such a counter-cultural concept. We're told to stand up for ourselves. Letting someone take advantage of you, that's unheard of, that's weak. But maybe weakness is strength, and defensiveness-less is humility, and surrender is victorious. 

Because that's what Jesus did!

 

He was oppressed. He was afflicted. He was led to the slaughter and He did not open His mouth. He did not defend Himself, and when He cried out, it was to say, "Father, forgiven them, they know not what they do." 

 

Forgive the ones who were mocking, beating, torturing, and killing. Forgive them, turn the other cheek, surrender. Walk along the road less traveled, because it is the road to freedom.