"Say You're Sorry"

Just found this on my desktop, an old blog I meant to post. I can't remember if I ever did or not, but it's as relevant now as it was when I wrote it. Thank goodness for Grace.

It's often easy to forget. To forget that I'm broken, sinful, flawed. To forget that without God, I am nothing. To forget that daily I need to repent of my sins. That daily I need to ask forgiveness. That daily I need to take off my heavy burden of pride and sin and pick up His cloak of humility and righteousness.

Even that concept seems too much, though. Righteousness. God hears and answers the prayers of a righteous man. I feel as though I can never be righteous, though. It seems like too perfect a goal to achieve. Like I can strive for it, like perfection, but it can never be truly reached until Heaven. And who am I to call myself “good” or “righteous?”

That seems prideful. And pride is my greatest sin, my greatest struggle. It's so easy to get sucked into a trap of thinking I'm better. I have a better relationship with God. I feel called to do things, I've heard His voice, I haven't committed many of the “big sins.”

But wait. No. There are no “big sins.” For we all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. No matter what we've done, said, or even thought, we've all fallen. No one is perfect. No one is flawless. No one is whole.

Sometimes I think I focus so much on the love, the beautiful, wonderful, matchless, free love of Jesus, that I fail to think about the “messy parts.” Who wants to think about the not as pretty moments, the parts that aren't so nice and clean and happy?

It's nice to focus on love, grace, and mercy, forgiveness and goodness. But there's a whole other side to this that I know I frequently fail to think about as often as I should. I forget to think about my own sin as often as I ought. And most of all, I forget about repentance and confessions.

My prayers primarily revolve around thanks, praying for family members, friends, my own walk with God/my struggles, and general just talking to Jesus about whatever is going on in my life. I just don't think about asking for forgiveness for sin, unless I have done something really big. I find myself often thinking that I don't really sin that often, what would I have to repent for?

I read or heard someone saying that if they were praying and they had nothing to repent for, then they were concerned.

I should be really concerned, then.

Because I am a sinful person. I am in need of forgiveness daily. I need to repent daily. I need to recognize my sins, my failures, my faults, and then ask forgiveness of them.

It's good to recognize one's own sin and weakness, and the resulting salvation in Christ.