Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Reassuring Rainbows

It was one of those quintessential sunsets. Perfectly shaded clouds surrounded by a halo of soft light. Golden sun still brightly burning low in the sky. Rays of sun streaming from the puffy pastel clouds. The sort of sunset you see in oil paintings of glorious landscapes, nature at its finest, perfection in paint.

When I was little I used to imagine that was exactly what heaven looked like, when the rays of sun shine through the clouds, shooting across the sky, majestic and beautiful. I recall sitting in the car as a little kid, staring out the window, mesmerized by the awe-inspiring nature before me. I wanted to capture it on paper so badly, but some moments can only be remembered, no depiction can do them true justice. I always thought of heaven, except the rays of sunlight were streaming from God, a crown of golden light to display His glory.

And now I know it is, nature is a reflection of God's glory, majesty, and awe-inspiring beauty. His power and perfection are on display every moment. The rays of sunlight are screaming His name, the mountains boast of His power, the fields of flowers sway and dance with His grace, the waves lapping on the beaches whisper of His gentleness. He's in it all.

Sometimes there are moments so beautiful I want to simply sit there in awe, no words, sounds, movement, I simply want to bask in the glimpse of His glory. And sometimes I think those moments of breathtaking beauty were there just at that moment, in the place, for me. A reminder and a gift, a picture-perfect moment, just for me.

We all fall down sometimes. Hit the bottom, scape an elbow, bruise a knee. We all feel unworthy, unwanted, unnecessary. I have those moments far too often. Doubt clouds my reason and logic. Too many bad moments and I start believing the oh-so-persuasive lies that no one needs me, that I'm useless, that I'm not good enough, that I'll never do anything of value, never make a difference, never change lives. That I haven't done anything of worth in my life, that I have no value, that my family and friends don't need me, don't love me. Lies, they're all lies, but they're so tempting when whispered into the ears of an already doubtful mind, invading and infecting, turning doubts into debilitating fears.

But Jesus says, "no, no. You're mine. You did nothing to deserve my love, yet I love you still. I died for you. You are beautiful and valued. And since you're clearly still having doubts, let me show you."

And there's a beautiful sunset. A perfect raindrop hanging from a spider-web sparkling with tiny rainbows. A butterfly landing on your arm, resting there for a few moments, peaceful and calm in the raging storm of life.

And love covers all doubts, all fears, in a soft blanket of assurance and peace.

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