There's something about spring that just tugs my heartstrings and warms every bit of my soul. That thumping muscle in my chest just smiles. You can't help but smile. It's spring. And it really is, officially, spring. The grass is getting greener (though that may be due to the incredible amount of watering-of-grass they do here at DU), flowers are slowly unfurling their petals and peeking out at the world, and the shy buds on trees have cast off their introverted selves and blossomed (literally!) into beautiful shades of pinks and whites that could liven even the grumpiest person's day. There are dots of brilliant yellow sprinkling the lawns. Everywhere I go I see dandelions, little smiles of flowers, happy, cheerful, resilient. It's lovely, simply lovely. There's just something about walking down a pathway that's flanked in budding dogwood trees. Yeah, they smell a bit like dung, but the white flowers are absolutely magical. And redbud trees, oh, redbud trees! I love them. They're everywhere in my city, literally. Almost every street in Maplewood has at least four redbud trees. When spring hits, and they all burst into bloom, the world is purple and pink. They look so perfect contrasted against a brilliant blue sky. That's one of my favorite things.
So essentially, I just love spring. Fall and summer are wonderful too, and winter has its few moments of greatness (mainly when it's beautiful and snowy outside and one is
inside with a big fuzzy blanket and a nice cup of hot tea, coffee, chai, hot chocolate, or whatever warm drink one fancies). Spring is just so...alive. Everything is re-entering the world after a long hibernation. The air is warm and welcoming, gentle breezes caress your face and arms, and you can finally break out dresses and skirts without fearing frostbite. Sandals and painted toenails, colorful splashes of color from the budding flowers, perfect blue skies. I love it, it makes me happy. I can't help but smile, even if the day is going badly. All you have to do is step outside on a perfect spring day and everything is a-ok.
The spectacular weather we've been having recently is definitely a HUGE contributor to my generally very happy mood. But there's more. Now I don't want this blog to be all "I love Jesus, I love Jesus, I love Jesus" all the time in a way that seems like I'm shoving my religion down whoever-reads-this' throat. But the fact of the matter is, Jesus is my life. I wouldn't be me without Him, and so the vast majority of the time He is going to come up in my conversation or blog posts simply because I can't separate Him from life, He IS my life.
It makes me really glad I can say that now. And really, genuinely, truly mean it. There've been so many times in my life that I've loved and lived for Jesus, but when I said Jesus was my life it was more just want I knew people wanted to hear. And what I wanted, really, really wanted, but didn't quite yet fully believe. But now I do.
I heard someone talking a few weeks ago. They said they knew if they walked away from God now, they might never be able to go back to Him. Just thinking about that, thinking about living a life after walking away from God, I couldn't imagine it. No matter how angry, hurt, confused, or bitter against God I could ever be, I still don't think I could live without Him. I too firmly believe that He exists. And so even if I decided I hated Him, I would still believe in Him, and I'd still know I had to be accountable to Him at the end of life. And what's more, I don't think I would ever
want to live without Him. He's such an integral part of my existence. I don't want anything more.
I was listening to this speaker from Uzbekistan the other day for my Russian class (whoo hoo extra credit!) and he gave a brief history of the country. He said that during the time of the USSR, there was no freedom of religion, one could not pray. Upon hearing that, I felt so, so sad. My eyes almost filled with tears (but I was in public...so I didn't let them). It just made me really sad for people who aren't "allowed" to pray or believe. I take it for granted, freedom. At this point in life, I don't have to worry about someone truly hurting me for my beliefs. I might have people who don't like me, refuse to be friends with me, or cease to be friends with me. Someone might call me a name, say something nasty about me or my faith, stereotype me or discriminate against me, but that happens to everyone, whatever their faith, color, background, gender, or whatever. I don't truly suffer for my belief in Jesus. That's special, that's a gift, that's something I should be incredibly and deeply thankful for.
So spring makes me happy. Flowers make me happy. Blue skies, sun, and warm weather make me happy. And Jesus makes me happy. Very, very happy.
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