Saturday, December 3, 2016

A Confession

I must confess that in a world of wounds and war
I have contributed to division

In a world where people are wrapped up in their own pain and fear
I have allowed my own fear and anger to control me
putting up walls between myself and those I disagree with
those whose opinions anger me
sadden me
and make me fearful

I’m heartbroken by opinions and politics that propose great walls 
to keep out the immigrant, demonize the refugee
And yet I do the same
turning those with whom I disagree into an enemy
allowing perspectives and politics I deem as hateful
to stop me from seeing a fellow human being

It’s easier to create stories
than to listen
So I’ve written stories about those people
decided they are evil, racist, hateful
These stories are safer, easy
then I don’t have to see real, hurting people

I must confess that in a world divided by pain, fear, and loss
my words have not been invitational, my actions push away instead of draw near 

I want to rage
I want to scream
demonize the other
and not see a fellow hurting human
not pause long enough to acknowledge that pain renders us irrational
and perhaps we’re all just hurting too much to function clearly

I have to be honest that
I don’t want to listen
Don’t want to stop and hear the stories
Don’t want to ask questions
Don’t want to seek to understand
those it would be easier to simply hate

Because it is easier to keep “those people” “over there”
where I don’t have to know them
understand perspectives, sympathize with pain
If I choose to see brother instead of enemy
I suddenly must see the violence in my own heart
No longer can I blame and say “how dare they” 

I must confess that my heart does not always desire unity, and that I have not always pursued it
But my first step towards peace, is saying I’m Sorry